Leila sat on her grandfather's easy chair, rocking herself absentmindedly as she fantasized about her future husband; how he'll propose to her on the shores of an Hawaiian beach with beautiful dancers all dressed in lovely mumus and grass-made crowns or how they'll cruise in a Yacht across the Atlantic ocean and end up snorkeling or scuba diving in the underwater world of Paradise island and Nassau far away in the Bahamas.
Thoughts of all these awesomeness brought a smile to her face,
This is definitely a great way for them to have a beautiful vacation (if they can afford it) but what she doesn't realize yet, is that after all of the dreamy and romantic getaway, they'd be faced with the reality of practical love while romance would be somewhere resting after fulfilling it's purpose.
Don't get me wrong, romance is a way to show or express love to your significant other, no doubt but it should never be confused or replaced with love itself.
As much as we may not agree, our present generational culture has adapted a false sense of love which is just centered around the romantic part of love.
Whatever happened to love? In its undiluted and purest form?
Writers, poets and scriptwriters from the days of Shakespeare till now have in a way elevated romance in such high volumes that it is now being seen and measured as the same thing as love especially in pre-matrimonial and matrimonial unions. Unconsciously, the culturally approved basis for a relationship and marriage settles on how romantically engaging the man can be.
Let's not be fooled by Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood, Zee world, Telemundo and the rest of them.
Love is more than him opening the car door for you every time, or always remembering to send you flowers or call on your birthday. Of course the feeling is lovely when experienced but it should never be the yardstick that'd be used to measure the genuineness of Love.
We need to replace the romantic fallacies with a psychologically mature notion of love that births understanding, trust, healthy compromise and other effective attitudes that would keep a relationship or marriage in its right place.
Stating clearly in Alaine De Botton's words:
"Romanticism has been a disaster
for our relationships. It is an
intellectual and spiritual
movement which has had a
devastating impact on the ability
of ordinary people to lead
successful emotional lives. The
salvation of love lies in
overcoming a succession of
errors within Romanticism. Our
strongest cultural voices have –
to our huge cost – set us up
with the wrong expectations."
Therefore, the preferred way to handle the dangers of Romance is to disregard it on a neutral level; after it has served it's purpose during the initial "love-at-first-sight" stage and take into consideration the practicalities of love that would make a relationship work such as discussions about money, tolerating our partner's flaws and not relying on intuition to stir our ships. Finally, disregarding romantic emotions does not imply cynicism or lack of love but is a good step in the direction of saving relationships and marriages from turning sour when the initial spark dies down.