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Papa, I'm Finally Honest

A week ago I shouted,

With a depth

that betrayed forbidden stories

My voice breaking in pain,

My back saddled with fatigue;

Alone.

 

Hours passed

Still I ignored it,

It haunted my every move

Highlighting the failures

around me,

maddening imperfections

bold, annoying

I grew exasperated

with every minute.

 

“So pitiful” I whispered in disgust.

As the subtitles of a movie began to blur, and

the sounds from my screen grew faint.

As the bolts that held my bottled emotions loosened

I shut my laptop

and pushed it aside.

 

“Breathe.” I reminded myself.

Tears stained my pillows

My silent sobs fell, and I finally admitted it

“I’m so lonely, Papa.”

 

Vulnerable.

“I’m so lonely, Father.” I repeated.

My heart was laid bare.

I tossed and turned,                                                       

Eyes burning from tears that fell.

Child-like.

“Please wrap your arms around me.” I pleaded

 

I tucked the corners

of my covers underneath my hip

And repeated those words over and over

See, I had no other

My little body curved

To shield itself from the tremors

Each sob, a little hiccup

I cried.

 

Tired, I drifted

My whispers became thoughts

Like guilty children,

Those thoughts stole away

In the black of the night

My burning tears simmered

cooling off

And then I felt it

Papa’s comfort.

minathemilkmaid · 407 days ago
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