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Eric and Helen: No, We Can’t be Friends

 

Eric was no stranger to the idea that he came off as a bit of an asshole. In his opinion, he was only brutally honest but people just didn’t like to confront the truth. They’d rather have a sugar-coated pill of lies to soothe their insecurities and enable them to maintain some false sense of value. He was sat across the table on an encounter he wasn’t sure could be classified as a date. The dating manual wasn’t clear on where taking out a girl in the hopes of screwing her later fell into. He wondered if she wanted more than just sex from him and it made him somewhat nervous. Perhaps he should try to tone down his charm, the last thing he wanted was for her to start having feelings for him so early. He could tell from their recent chats that her idea of what they could be had started evolving into something he wasn’t willing to participate in.

‘I like you, like I really like you.’ She dropped the line without the slightest of warning.

Eric had to resist back-washing into his bottle of Orijin. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid and now it was too late. It wouldn’t be the first time he was being baited into something more than casual fun when he had not bargained for it. In fact, this was the leading cause of his losing potential lays. For a second, he felt somewhat bad for seeing so many girls as deserving of nothing more than a romp in the sac. But what was he supposed to do? Convince himself that a girl was compatible with his taste in companionship to make her feel better about herself? And this was 2015, women were no more innocent than men when it came with using a person for sex. Almost every girl he knew had a guy somewhere they could have sex with without any strings, so why did they all of a sudden want something more with him? Perhaps a punishment for his sweetness?

‘Helen, don’t get me wrong, I think you’re cool. Like, I like you, but I don’t see us in a relationship type thing.’

It was the most sensitive way he could think of telling her there was nothing more than sex for them. The truth was that he honestly thought she was a decent girl, but everything was not for everybody. For another guy, she might have been Mrs. Right, but not for him. In one of their chats, she had sent a list of requirements for her ideal man. In summary, she wanted a man with the self-control of a Buddhist monk, the body of a Greek god, the brain of Albert Einstein, and the heart of William Shakespeare. As for his financial status, she opted for the more accommodating ‘he must be financially stable’.

Eric contemplated telling her the truth. There was no way such a guy was going to be interested in her as far as dating was concerned. Contrary to the popular belief that opposites attract, similarities actually formed the basis for shared interests and that was really what people wanted from companions. She was unbearably boring, worryingly uncultured, and hopelessly addicted to 21st-century popular media; a most repulsive trait in his book, as would be in the books of most guys remotely similar to her ideal man. He decided to put it down as the modern day attitude of wanting things we refuse to do anything about; a deluded sense of entitlement.

‘Well, I don’t think it would be right to go to yours knowing that I want more. The last thing I want to be is another girl you’ve fucked and I know that is exactly what I would become if we do this.’

He respected her choice. Some girls had this notion that with enough sex they could change a guy’s mind. Even worse, some took to this weird strategy of teasing in hopes that eventually something would give. He remembered a girl that had slept over at his apartment but wouldn’t let him take off her pants even though she went as far as giving him a hand job. In his opinion, that was the worst kind of woman. He smiled at Helen as he called for the bill. It was time to go their separate ways.

‘Can we be friends though?’ She asked.

‘I feel like I’m supposed to say yes, but to be honest, communication will fizzle out soon enough if nothing happens and as it is, we want different things so it will just end up being awkward.’ He said.

‘So you don’t have female friends?’ She asked.

‘Yes, but not any I’ve ever thought of having sex with before, plus we actually have similar interests that oil the friendship. So no, we can’t be friends.’

30/30 is a collection of short stories covering a range of issues around the self, culture, society, sex, love and relationships. It is available for FREE on SmashwordsOkadabooksLuluiBooksand other ebook retailers.

willifmoore · 450 days ago
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